Ace's Fireball power not just for Royal Enfields

Official NASA photo. Imagine how an Ace Fireball nozzle could improve this rocket motor.

BULLETIN: Ace Engineering created its powerful Ace Fireball 535 out of that plodding classic, the Royal Enfield Bullet motorcycle. Sunday, Ace's Tom Lyons and Sumanth Janardhan will announce that they will help bring the same dramatic transformation to rockets designed to carry humans to Mars — and beyond.

NASA jumped the gun in a press release  Friday on its Space Launch Systems Program. The SLS is America's next heavy-lift launch vehicle. The press release suggests that Ace's involvement in the space program is all but certain.

"Mars exploration is a top priority for NASA," another NASA press release notes. Ace Engineering has the experience and the record of success the agency will need if it hopes to meet President Obama's challenge that it put humans on Mars in the mid 2030s.

Ace's connection to the space program resulted directly from Lyons' recent boast that "we can do other brands and vehicles as well."

"Just in case anyone is wondering about it, we are capable of doing performance head work on just about any kind of vehicle that you can name. While I specialize in Bullets, I am doing this work at Mondello's, which is one of the most famous race engine shops in the world. So, if you have something else that you'd like to get worked on, just let me know."

The Mondello heads used on Ace Fireball motors for the Bullet capture power lost in the standard Bullet motor by inefficient fuel flow. While the basic idea — fuel in, power out — seems simple, getting it perfect requires exact understanding of what is going on, plus precision engineering.

NASA's rockets work on the same simple principles, but not as efficiently as they could. As with many of the modifications Ace makes to the basic Bullet, small things do mean a lot.

There is no wind resistance in space. How fast you get going equals how fast you keep going. This means that a bit extra power at the start — something equivalent to the difference between a standard Royal Enfield Bullet and the Ace Fireball 535, for instance — could dramatically shorten the time it takes to get to Mars. With reduced travel time, associated savings in on-board life support requirements are obvious.

Can a young motorcycle shop help NASA get to Mars using only experience gained on vintage British motorcycle engines?

Absolutely.

After all. It's not rocket science.

Royal Enfield heard in music by Children of the Drone

A Royal Enfield motorcycle was one of the curious "instruments" played by the talented musical collective The Children of the Drone during their 10th Anniversary Drone-a-Thon in the UK.

I've been listening to their haunting and weird sounds since a fan of the music, screenwriter and wit Douglas Kalajian, alerted me that a Royal Enfield was listed among their instruments.

Other instruments listed were more familiar, but don't ask me about the Kaoss Pad, mandola, submerged gong, Kaossilator, hang or theremin. I will say that, together, they sound wonderful.

The Children of the Drone (the name was chosen with a random band-name-generator) don't drone at all. They harmonize in a gentle, thought provoking way, making them the ideal sound by which to blog. Lyrics are few, but often quite funny:

"You know, Hell is just over there, just over the horizon."

"I didn't know that. Looks like a jolly good place. I might pop over there myself one day."

"I been there. Nice in Hell. I been there."

This is followed, I thought, by the thump of the Royal Enfield, "played" by musician James S. I hear it at about 19:26 in this piece. But that may be just my imagination, and the effect of the music, which is perfect for anyone who enjoys the beat of a Royal Enfield motor.

Drone-a-Thon, with James S. at right. He "played" the Royal Enfield.

The Children of the Drone is based in Exeter, in the UK.

Music from their Drone-a-Thon was posted online Aug. 14, 2011 by member Matthew Watkins on The Spring blog.  He writes:

"This was out at James S's farmhouse a few miles west of Exeter. The original idea was to celebrate 10 years of COTD with a non-stop 10-hour Drone session! We were planning to play noon until 10 p.m. As it happened, it wasn't nonstop (we had a few civilised breaks to converse and imbibe), and we started a bit late, but the session, from first notes/beats played to last, was only 15 minutes short of 10 hours. James S and I recorded the whole thing, with a relay setup involving both of our Zoom H2's."

Matthew disagrees with me about where the Royal Enfield comes in. Here's his description of how it happened:

"It was a beautiful moment. You've seen the photos so you can picture the surrounding — sunny day, rolling Devon hills. James (bike owner) slipped away unnoticed during the jam, and, next thing we knew he was cruising up the down-sloping lawn towards us with a huge grin, reving his bike. As you'll hear it really livened up our playing at that point too."

Matthew says you hear the motorcycle at about 31:20 of this piece. If it's there, I would have said it was at 30:20.

Give it a listen and let me know what you hear.

Why I'm cancelling liability coverage on my Royal Enfield

No riders: Solo seat is a constant reminder there's no insurance for a passenger.

My Royal Enfield Bullet has only the solo sprung seat. I've kept it that way to avoid the temptation to ever carry a passenger.

It was a visual reminder to me every time I got on the motorcycle that I didn't carry insurance coverage for a passenger. Now I've cancelled my motorcycle insurance completely.

It's legal to do so. My state of Florida and Washington state are the only two that don't require motorcycle liability coverage.

I never had carried more than liability insurance anyway. No insurance for me, none for damage to the motorcycle. Motorcycling was supposed to be an affordable hobby; regular insurance payments would have made it less so.

If the motorcycle was destroyed or stolen — well — I would be sad. I'd have to be careful.

As for injury to me — that just isn't in my plans at all.

Also not in my plans is getting sick. Yet my wife and I pay, as a couple, more for health insurance than we pay to live in our house.

Motorcycling can be a dangerous activity, granted, but it is no where near as dangerous as just plain getting old, and we pay an enormous amount to be "protected" from the effects of that. Enough!

Before cancelling the motorcycle liability insurance I watched a video out of Washington state on why I need it. "You could hit a pedestrian," was the argument, "or scratch a car while maneuvering in a parking lot."

The odds of that, however, are low. Here's how I know this: I save only $25 a year by cancelling my coverage (actually I save "only $24," the insurance agent pointed out, in an effort to keep me signed up). Very little.

That tiny figure represents the insurance company's evaluation of the danger that I would ever exceed my deductibles and even leaves room for it to make a profit. Clearly, the insurance company thinks I am very nearly at zero risk. I'll go with that.

Meanwhile, in the 10 years I've owned my Bullet, I've paid $240 to the insurance company. The expense, to the company, has probably been under a few dollars, to mail me fresh insurance cards twice a year — an expense it can take off its taxes.

It's a superb business plan for them. I'm dropping out of their profit stream, but I urge you to make your own decisions about coverage. Your comments are welcome.

Royal Enfield road trip: 'My Bullet loves me'

Royal Enfield and a Harley-Davidson on a road trip together.

Jeff Nordstrom of Yakima, Wash. took the scenic route to get his 2009 Royal Enfield G5 serviced at Ural Northwest. Accompanied by his brother Jamie, on a Harley-Davidson, Jeff and his Royal Enfield now headed for home. His story continues:

By this time, over 300 miles and six hours in, my contact points were beginning to get a little tender. At Ural Northwest I noticed an Enfield with the other style of solo seat. I chose mine because it is a little longer and wider, and I thought it would give me a few more options to adjust my riding position. But when I felt the other saddle, there was at least an inch of pleasantly soft padding. I then checked my brother's ride, and that seat, in addition to being ridiculously wide, also had a good inch of softness. I had always considered my seat as firm and supportive, but it now just seemed hard. It is an improvement over the stock seat, but it provides about as much cushion as a mouse pad.

The service took just over an hour. With stretched legs, and less one more layer of insulation, we headed for home, the scenic way. East on Smith Road until it joined 542 east. We fueled at Demig where 542 meets 9, and headed south to Sedro-Wooly for a quick lunch. From Sedro-Wooly we joined Highway 20 east toward the North Cascades Scenic Highway. I had heard several people talk about the North Cascades and what a great ride it is, so I was excited.

Ural Northwest offered a look at a softer seat for a Royal Enfield.

Highway 20 started out running through a wide flat agricultural valley for quite a while before we got into the foothills and eventually started some mountain climbing.  It took awhile to get into the really rugged scenery, but we got there. There were a lot of curves, and the speed limit, as with almost all of the ride to this point, was right in the middle of where the Royal Enfield thrives. Highway 20 was posted 45 to 50 mph almost the whole way.

Unfortunately, due to road work, over 30 miles were 30-mph construction zones with a couple of single lane sections where traffic was only allowed to go one direction at a time. That caused a severe traffic build up.

At least we were sitting and waiting in some beautiful mountain landscapes, and in temperatures in the mid-70s. The road was cut through steep, high granite mountains. Glacial waterfalls cascaded down the cliffs all around us. Crystal-clear streams ran along either side of the road, wide and still in places where you could see big trout swimming in peace. In other places the stream-bed narrowed and turned into raging white water. We reached almost 5,500 feet elevation at Washington Pass; a big change from the less than 100 feet we were at just a couple of hours earlier in Bellingham.

It must have been difficult to keep eyes on the road.

The east side of the Northern Cascades descended into a stunning valley with majestic high walls on three sides, where the road took a big sweeping left that turned us to face the steep slope we had just descended, then a sweeping right and another big sweeping left that took us out of the mountains and into a more arid area of open plains.

Shortly after leaving the Scenic North Cascades Highway, Highway 20 heads into the western-themed tourist town of Winthrop, Wash. Winthrop appeared to be a big attraction for motorcycle riders, because there was a steady flow coming into town from all (both) directions. It would have been a pleasant place to stop and look around, but thanks to a wrong turn in Bellingham, and road construction over the mountains we were at least a couple of hours behind schedule, and we were beginning to weary.

We continued to Pateros for a last refueling stop, and brief reminiscing about the 1987 Pateros Apple Pie Jamboree 10K run that Jamie won. I suggested that we check to see if any local historians have a plaque somewhere around town to commemorate the event. He suggested that we just get home. He managed to shed another layer of insulation, though I don't know where he was keeping it, and reluctantly remounted the Harley.

We were both sore and tired. Though he wanted to get home as soon as possible, Jamie did not want to get back on that bike. In an effort to make him feel better about the prospect, I had him feel the seat on my Bullet. He was shocked at the lack of padding, but I don't think it made him any less apprehensive about getting back on.

It was after 6 p.m. when we pulled out of Pateros, and we still had over 150 miles to go. We decided that go we would, and we would go hard. The speedometer on the Bullet has read about 7 mph over actual speed. That means that the speedometer would have to read 67 to keep a 60-mph pace, which was the posted speed limit. But through this trip it seems that my speedometer cable may have come a little loose, because it was bouncing between 60 and 70 mph. With my 240-plus pounds, my little 500 single has always had a little trouble getting me over an actual 65 mph — but 65 mph would be my target in an effort to hasten the conclusion of this trip.

It looked that I was only running at about 60 mph, so in an effort to gain some speed  and relieve my contact points, I laid on the tank with my feet on the rear pegs and my chin on the handle bar. That cut my wind profile and got me about 5 more mph. We chased over the Beebe Bridge, through Orondo, touched East Wenatchee as we crossed back over the Columbia, and joined back onto Highway 2  through Cashmere and Dryden. I must admit at this point I did get some pleasure from knowing that my brother, on the motorized lounge-chair he was riding, was hurting even more than me.

We pulled off the side of the road as we joined Highway 97 to re-insulate ourselves as sundown was fast approaching. We really wanted to get out of the mountains before it got dark and we would not be able to see the deer before they stepped onto the road. No more enjoying scenery; we were in a mission to get home as soon as possible. We had mountains to climb, and my 500 single had some work ahead of it. I was able to keep the speedometer bouncing near 67 mph at the top of its stroke, which I took to mean I was going about 60 mph when we were climbing, and 65 on the downhill side.

It worried me a little to pass through Ellensburg without fueling, especially with as hard as we were running, but we were in a hurry. So we pressed on to I-82 for the final leg home. There are some steep hills between Ellensburg and Yakima, with a posted speed limit of 70 mph, so I was wide open all the way except down hills. By the time we were descending the last ridge overlooking Selah, my low fuel light was flashing with some urgency. We managed to get into Yakima and hit a last refueling stop before rolling through town to our homes. Jamie stated it was another five miles that he was really dreading.

Apparently my little Bullet felt the urgency to get us home quickly as well. Speaking to Jamie the following morning, he told me that he paced me climbing Blewett Pass on the way home at 72 mph, and had me at over 80 mph at times on I-82. My Bullet loves me.

Jeff and his Royal Enfield G5 make it home.

My odometer read the round trip at 699 miles. My brother swears his said 666 miles, which he is determined to believe, as it is indicative of the evil we suffered. Although there was significant gnashing of teeth, there was very little weeping. We suffered, but I am not ready to liken this trip to the Tribulation.

Time: 16 hours,15 minutes
Distance: 666 miles or 699 miles depending on your outlook
Fuel consumption: 11.5 gallons
Mileage: 60.8 mpg

Gordon May's back on the Bullet for his next trip

Gordon May's 1953 Bullet carried him overland to India in 2008.

BULLETIN: Author Gordon May is getting back on his Royal Enfield Bullet.

"My next overland journey, you will be pleased to hear, will be back on the 1953 500cc Bullet I rode to India," he wrote in an email to fans of his books on the brand.

"But more on that another time..."

The email was packed with other news of interest to Royal Enfield riders. May's Royal Enfield Books is introducing reprints of maintenance and repair books  from the 1920s and 1930s. Also on the website  are instruction books for War Department Models D, C and RE plus a workshop manual for civilian postwar Models G, J and J2. More manuals are coming soon, Gordon wrote.

His books on Royal Enfield history and his own history making 8,000-mile journey from the UK to India on a 1953 Royal Enfield Bullet established author Gordon May as the world's most famous living Royal Enfield traveler.

So it may seem strange that the big news in his recent email bulletin relates to a BSA Bantam he named "Peggy."

Gordon's most recent trek was a terrifically challenging ride from the UK to Egypt aboard this terrifically overloaded 1952 BSA Bantam. Following his live account of that ride repeatedly raised the question: just how bad do things have to get before Gordon May gives up? He never did.

Somewhere under there is a little two-stroke BSA Bantam.

Now his full account is out in hardcover or paperback. You can purchase Overland to Egypt  with your credit card.

"Publication of the manuscript was delayed for two reasons," Gordon wrote in the email.

"Firstly, I had grave concerns for the safety of people I met in Libya, particularly my wonderful guide, Essa. I didn’t want to publish a book that included them before the war was over and I had been able to reestablish contact. That finally happened late last year and I’m glad to report that Essa is safe."

If possible, the second reason for the delay is even more touching:

"The second delay was due to my ongoing search for Peggy Iris Thomas, the intrepid lady who, accompanied by her Airedale terrier, Matelot, rode a BSA Bantam 14,000 miles across Canada, the U.S.A. and Mexico between 1951 and 1952. Her story, printed in the books ‘A Ride In The Sun’ and ‘Gasoline Gypsy,’ was so inspiring that I named my Bantam after her.

"After almost three years of searching, I finally discovered what had happened to her... As a consequence, with the kind permission of her family and the help of her friends, I have been able to republish her book under a combined title of ‘A Ride In The Sun — Gasoline Gypsy.’"

Copies of that book can be ordered from Gordon's Ride in the Sun website.

Go to Gordon's Overland to India website to purchase his original travel book, the story of how he rode his museum-piece Bullet from Manchester, UK to Chennai, birthplace of modern day Bullets.

Royal Enfield road trip: almost 700 miles in one day

Jeff Nordstrom of Yakima, Wash. rides his Royal Enfield fast and far.

Almost 700 miles in one day on a Royal Enfield motorcycle. That's just one of the road trips by Royal Enfield described by Jeff Nordstrom of Yakima, Wash. in a series of emails he sent me. All are impressive, but here's his story in his own words (edited for space) of that long day's ride.

It takes a Bullet 16 hours and 15 minutes to go 699 miles.

That includes two food stops, several fuel stops, and about an hour of warranty service work at the dealership, which was the reason for the trip in the first place.

About mid-May, 2011 the electric starter on my 2009 Royal Enfield G5 Bullet started acting up. I was able to trace it to a failing starter solenoid. I took it to the local Royal Enfield dealer and showed them what I needed. They took my number and told me they would call me when the part came in. After a full five weeks without any word, I called the dealership where I got the RE to begin with. It should be noted that the G5 is also equipped with a kick-starter, so I never missed a day of riding.

The gents at Ural Northwest impressed me yet again. They remembered me right away, and even remembered the bike. They assured me that the item was covered under warranty, and they would have it in a couple of days. They called me two days later and said I could drop by anytime and they would install it — the only problem being that my Bullet and I reside over 250 miles from Ural Northwest.

Several  factors contributed to the planning of this trip:

1. We in the Washington state have some absolutely beautiful roads and mountain passes, some of which I had never traveled;
2. I like sleeping in my own bed, and
3. I am a bit of a masochist.

These factors worked together in the planning of a one-day, 600-plus-mile round trip to get a $20 part replaced under warranty. I also got a couple of oil filters while I was there, which saved me $7 in freight charges.

I set the date for Friday, Aug. 12, and let Ural Northwest know I would be coming.

I had made a similar trip for filters last summer, but then I needed to be home by 5:45 p.m. so my wife could go out to dinner with friends. That resulted in an enjoyable day covering around 550 miles in 11 hours and 45 minutes with too many freeway miles and a sore butt that eventually led to a wider solo seat for Christmas. This trip would not have time restrictions, so I would be able to plot a more leisurely course.

I invited my dad (rider of a 2011 Harley-Davidson Heritage Softtail, and master planner of multiple extended rides every year). He took me up on the offer, but was over-ruled by mom who is always concerned that my brother and I don't do enough together. So it was my brother Jamie who was recruited to take dad's Harley and accompany me.

With brother Jamie on a Harley, Jeff and his Enfield take to the hills.

We met in the church parking lot at 5 a.m. and headed for the hills. We were familiar with the scenic roads around Yakima, so we bypassed those and took the freeway to Ellensburg where we cut across to Highway 97 and Blewett Pass.

Highway 97 is a well-maintained mountain road cut through a semi-sparse pine forest with several creeks and rivers on either side of the road. Even in summer it was cold in the hours before 7 a.m. We took 97 to Leavenworth where we refueled and spent 10 minutes at the Golden Arches warming our fingers before connecting to Highway 2 and Stephens Pass.

Highway 2 has become one of my favorite roads. Also well-maintained, 2 has some spectacular views of the Wenatchee River cutting through the granite slopes of the mostly pine-forested Cascade Mountains on the east side, thick pine forests with snow covered peaks and dramatic drop-offs on top, and any number of beautiful lakes, rivers, and streams surrounded by impassably thick deciduous forests as it descends through quaint little towns on the west side.

Scenery is the reward on a road trip in Washington state.

We turned north on 9, a little congested for the first 30 or so miles, but north of Arlington it gets twisty and passes through some plush farm land and around some beautiful lakes. We were riding through some fairly thick fog from the bottom end of Stephens Pass and several miles up 9, but it cleared by mid-morning.

We stopped for fuel and to shed some layers at Clear Lake and continued north to 542 and took it west toward Bellingham. After about 8 miles, Smith Road meets 542 and leads directly to Ural Northwest. Too bad I missed it and ended up in the middle of downtown Bellingham with no idea which way to go.

Ural Northwest dealership took good care of Jeff's Royal Enfield.

Forty minutes and a few phone calls later we pulled into the lot at Ural Northwest. They had me pull right into the shop and went to work. My brother and I wandered around the shop and admired some of the other bikes they had on hand.

Jeff Nordstrom is 39 years old, married with a 10-year-old girl and an 8-year-old boy. He is the packing boss at an apple packing warehouse. The rest of his ride story is coming up.

To be continued.

Royal Enfields look sooo cool, but should you buy one?

Older Royal Enfields don't just look old fashioned. They are old fashioned.

Should I buy a Royal Enfield motorcycle? One of the old ones? Or one of the new ones?

These questions keep popping into my mailbox. Here's one that's typical, from "Stu" in Pennsylvania, who is considering a 2009 Royal Enfield Electra:

"In my discussion with the salesman, he said that if I intended to ride it on weekends and not want to work on them, that I should not buy it. That the Royal Enfields need maintenance on a regular basis, even new ones. Spoke of oil problems. Also, said I would need a wrench on a regular basis to tighten up nuts as they become loose due to vibrations. Now, I planned on riding it occasionally in the spring/summers. I live in Pennsylvania and was looking forward to this. But I am not a mechanic, and the closest dealership is 200 miles away, so I would not be able to take it to them. The motorcycles seem sooo neat!!!!!!! I appreciate it if you let me know your opinion."

Dear Stu,

I am not a mechanic, and I have ridden my Royal Enfield Bullet 40,000 miles. Now. That being said, the motorcycle keeps trying to make a mechanic out of me. Little things demand attention: a screw disappears, so you find another one in your junk drawer and put it in. The horn bracket breaks (from vibration) so you find a piece of metal in the garage, drill a hole in it, and make a new horn bracket. The clutch cable breaks, so you order the part, disconnect the broken cable and connect the new one. The valves make a rattling noise, so you open up the little door, take the wrenches from the tool kit, and tighten the valve adjusters — but not too much. The motorcycle is hard to start one day, so you put in a new spark plug. Easy. You can do it. Little by little, you learn how to do a lot.

But. Is that what you wanted to do? Or did you want to just twist the key and go for a ride?

Dealers do their best to scare away riders who aren't willing to learn how to take care of the motorcycle because they know that most of us have been spoiled by the absolute bullet-proof reliability of Japanese products. They don't want you to be disappointed.

These days, people tend to think that if an appliance needs fixing or adjustment, it's a piece of junk. It didn't used to be like that. People used to think that an Electrolux vacuum or a General Electric toaster were better because you could fix them when they broke or wore out. They would last forever — if you kept repairing them. Today, you just throw them in the garbage and buy a new one at Target — it's cheaper than getting them fixed.

In fact, today they aren't made to be fixed. That's why you'll see a warning on the bottom of the electric mixer: "No customer serviceable parts inside."

The very newest Royal Enfields, with fuel injection, automatic adjusting valves and electronic ignition, need far less maintenance because they were designed in the modern era. But the motorcycle you are considering is a machine out of a time warp: roughly out of 1965. It is not just an old-fashioned looking motorcycle. It is an old-fashioned motorcycle.

That is the experience I wanted, and I got it, believe me! But if I wanted to go for a ride with my buddies on Harleys on the weekend with never a need for fiddling.... ummm. Last time I tried that, I was the only guy who had to walk back along the road to find the bit that fell off and put it back on. I didn't mind, of course. I expected it. I thought it was amusing. I was proud that I knew how to put it back on. But you might not find that so funny.

We love our Royal Enfields but we hate to disappoint you.

Royal Enfield Canada unveils its Chrome Cafe Racer

Chrome Cafe Racer from Royal Enfield Canada.

It's not a kit you have to put together: it's a motorcycle you can buy.

Royal Enfield Canada is advertising its Chrome Cafe Racer in a 60-second commercial posted on YouTube.

Brett Morgan, co-president of Origin Motorcycles, distributor for Royal Enfield Canada, described the new model for me:

"We have spent the better part of a year with a company in India designing a café racer. The café racer we came up with is called The Royal Enfield Chrome Café Racer. It is sort of a mix of the Clubman they use in the UK and the Continental kit (Royal Enfield USA) sells in the USA.

"The motorcycle is an Electra Deluxe with (special) handle bars, solo seat and exhaust. We have been careful not to sell this as a 'café racer kit.' Based on some research my business partner and I did at the motorcycle trade show last year, the public wanted to buy a bike. The consensus was they felt confused purchasing a kit."

Royal Enfield Canada's website gives the price as starting at $8,900, plus pre-delivery inspection, delivery and regional taxes.

The motorcycle certainly has "the look" and the commercial is great fun to watch, especially the close-ups. Can you identify the different parts shown?

Why buy a Royal Enfield? Ask the man who's selling one

Royal Enfield pictured with its ideal road.

Why buy a Royal Enfield motorcycle? Oddly, the best argument I've read recently comes from a man who has one to sell.

"It's as if you discovered that some company is still making mid-'60s Mustangs at a reasonable price," writes Doug, of Brentwood, Mo., in his CraigsList ad.

He's selling his 2002 Royal Enfield because he "got the bug for a bigger bike." Reading his ad, it sounds as though he hasn't work the bug for a Royal Enfield out of his system yet.

"The Bullet is the longest continually produced motorcycle model in history. It has the styling of an old Norton, BSA or Triumph because those were its contemporaries. This one, manufactured in 2002, is only very subtly changed from the original model.... This is a beautiful machine made just like it was when it was new."

Since he's selling, it's natural to conclude that a bigger motorcycle might be better, in his view. But, then, he writes:

"This clearly isn't the fastest, most powerful or technologically advanced bike out there. But if you want something with style and retro cool, this is for you. "

Mileage on his motorcycle is 3,600, but Doug advises that that figure is subject to change: he's still riding it.

Or, perhaps it already has sold; the ad has disappeared from CraigsList.

Royal Enfield won on 'Let's Make a Deal' now up for sale

Royal Enfield C5 on "Let's Make a Deal."

Congratulations! You've just won a free Royal Enfield motorcycle! Now what are you going to do about it?

If you're the contestant who won it on the television game show "Let's Make a Deal," you're going to try to sell it.

The 2011 Royal Enfield C5 is for sale on CraigsList in Los Angeles. Asking price is $6,000.

"I won a 2011 Royal Enfield Bullet Classic C5 on the game show 'Let's Make a Deal' (I have the video to prove it)," the ad reads.

"As I am not a motorcycle driver, I am selling it. It is remaining on the showroom floor so you would be the first owner and driver of this vehicle. The retail cost is $6,695 not including taxes, fees, or registration. The cost of $6,000 I am asking will cover everything for you and won't have to pay any more. I have the number of the general manager of the dealership you can speak with if you have any questions or want confirmation on this deal as well."

I wrote, introducing myself as the author of this blog, and requesting details, but there was no answer. Based on the photo from "Let's Make a Deal" included in the ad, it's apparent this really happened.

Of course I am jealous. But  understand the non-rider must take action.

Lawyers.com points out that contest winners must pay state and federal income taxes on prize winnings. The value of the prize (computed at its full retail price — the sticker price) is considered income. Not only do you have to pay taxes to the federal government, but you also need to pay state income taxes.

"Let's Make a Deal" is filmed in California. "Therefore California's high tax will be deducted from your prize,"  Lawyers.com concludes.

Royal Enfield's gentle voice from the Pacific silenced

Lawrence J. Read and his Royal Enfield in Tonga.

It was a time, in 2008, when Internet message boards devoted to Royal Enfield motorcycles were filled with discussions of how to make the Bullet speedier.

Along came a voice from a small island in the South Pacific, suggesting, in effect, that we were already going too fast.

Intentionally or not, Lawrence J. Read, writing from the tiny island of Vav'u, in the Tonga Islands, became the spokesman for the opinion that rushing through life was unnecessary. Maybe even unwise.

Fascinated by his point of view, I contacted him and he was kind enough to expand on his life and views in a post on this blog titled "Royal Enfield's Calm Voice From Paradise."

I continued to follow his writing on the Royal Enfield Yahoo Message Group, but I lost track of him when he moved over to the Royal Enfield USA Forum. He made many friends there. He felt comfortable there. He mentioned his wife of 28 years, Malia, and children 'Ana Malia and Phillip. He began building a Royal Enfield rickshaw, which would be powered by an electric motor — and even slower than a Bullet!

I didn't realize that, on November 14, 2009 Lawrence Read passed away, in the wake of a motorcycle accident the month before.

I didn't know of his death until a friend of Mr. Read and his wife Malia emailed me recently to ask how much I thought a Royal Enfield should sell for on the island of Tonga. Its owner had died.

How many Royal Enfields could there be, on an island in the South Pacific?

Checking back, I saw on the Royal Enfield USA Forum that Mr. Read had been found by the side of the road, unconscious, in early October, 2009. He had spent five woozy days in the hospital with no recollection of the accident. When he got out, typically, his first concern was for his Royal Enfield, which had suffered only minor damage in the crash. At first, Mr. Read thought an animal might have crossed his path causing the crash, but he came to blame it on a sudden deflation of the rear tire.

He seemed confident that he was recovered, aside from some bandages. On Oct. 24, 2009, he wrote to a fellow enthusiast on the mainland:

"Here in Tonga, any mods are unimportant as just having bike to ride means so much more. And I suppose that's how life should be — people important, everything else to help them out.  There is this tendency left over to try to make the best of each thing, but having a bike is such a fine thing — there is no local money for one and the cost of getting even a poor one here is so ridiculous, that I'm quite happy with what I have.  I have a weird feeling that things there will someday be pretty much the same way."

Less than a month later, he was gone. The news unleashed a wave of condolence messages on the Royal Enfield USA Forum.  I missed it all, perhaps still distracted by my own mother's passing in September, 2009.

Most on the Royal Enfield Yahoo Message Group apparently learned of his death in November, 2010, in a post by member Tom Lyons. Ironically, Lyons is the prime mover behind ACE Performance Bullets,  the most successful group ever at making Bullets go faster than ever. There is no real barrier between lovers of Royal Enfields.

Mr. Read had written of death, making fun of his own wide ranging posts on the Internet. In 2008, he wrote:

"Heh, heh ...picture me sitting their with my neighbor and two missionaries and they're telling me that God is an old man with a white beard, sitting up in left field somewhere with a nice wife (sort of like me) and Lord Jesus is there with him, also with a nice wife, and that if I mind my Ps and Qs and join them, I can be up there with them, with my nice wife, and we will all be gods together. Hell, I hated being an chemical company exec, why would I want to be a god?

"Reminds me of the cult followers from Southern California a few years back, group of guys, I guess, all took poison and lay dead on the floor together because they knew there was a space ship out there just waiting to pick them up and give them new life.

"When I die they will carve on my tombstone:

    Here lies LJR
    He was the best ever
    At dragging a thread
    Off Topic!

"Lawrence J. Read, Vava'u, Tonga Islands, South Pacific"

On Oct. 26, 2009 came his final post on the Royal Enfield USA Forum:

"I've been a Forum member for over two years now and seen it go various ways.  Humor, serious dialogue, most of us just aren't that consistent, nor want to be. Cabo is one of the more consistent members, but there are others.  I do wonder what happened to a few, but guess they dropped off somewhere and don't worry about it.  The one consistent trend is the bikes themselves, and I continue to learn a lot."

Godspeed, Mr. Read.

Royal Enfield USA unveils new model: C5 Special

Royal Enfield Bullet C5 Special.
(Upswept exhaust and headlight visor are not standard equipment.)

Royal Enfield USA's top-of-the-line Bullet Classic 500 now comes as a bigger motorcycle, the C5 Special. You may need a magnifying glass to see the difference in photographs, but you'll feel the difference in your bottom.

The difference to your bottom line is likely to be only about $100.

For that you get a larger, 19-inch front wheel (as opposed to two 18-inch wheels on the C5 Classic), a somewhat different riding position and a straight front fork as opposed to the offset fork on the C5 Classic. The fork is the same length as before, but with different geometry.

The C5 Special will be available in all 50 states.

According to a notice that went out to U.S. Royal Enfield dealers last week, the C5 Special will appeal to larger riders who find the C5 Classic smallish but prefer its styling to the B5 and G5, which use the 19-inch front wheel.

The new fork and larger front wheel will give a more cruiser like feel on the highway. The C5 Classic will remain the choice for those who want maximum handling.

The new C5 Special will be available in all C5 colors except the Red Chrome.

Royal Enfield C5 Special in teal.

Royal Enfield bobber surprises with stock frame color

Gentle shade of green gives away the Royal Enfield under this bobber.

In its stock green color, Royal Enfield's Bullet Classic C5 motorcycle looks suitably retro. But not many would consider this gentle shade of green a street-tough, no-holds-barred color.

Custom builder Dave Perewitz turns that impression around with his Royal Enfield bobber, shown at the Progressive International Motorcycle Show in New York.

Peeking out from inside the iron fist of a boulevard brawler is the velvet hand of a pastel Royal Enfield C5.

Some refer to the mild color as "turquoise." It seems an unnatural choice for a bobber until you see it here. Then it just looks eye catching.

Perewitz Cycle Fabrication in Bridgewater Mass. is the home of Dave Perewitz, 2006 winner of the Discovery Channel Biker Build-off. Its web site describes Perewitz as self-taught, beginning with his first motorcycle in 1967. Their proud claim is that 100 per cent of the custom motorcycles they turn out are street ridden.

Bud Wilkinson of RIDE-CT reports wrote that, for the show bike, Perewitz changed the front wheel, modified the front fender and shortened the front end. He added mini ape-hanger handlebars, low seat, new exhaust pipe, shortened rear fenders and new turn signals.

Wilkinson wrote that Perewitz intends to make the parts used in his Royal Enfield conversion available in kit form. Perhaps that explains why the green "shows through." It illustrates how many changes have been made.

Royal Enfield USA vice president Ron Greene shows off the Perewitz custom and discusses it in this CAC-TV video:

Royal Enfield's Bunty is back, in virtual reality terms

Some say this is Bunty, but I have my doubts.

Royal Enfield's stoutest (I'll have a pint as well, if you don't mind) supporter is back. Again.

In probably the least appreciated literary tour de force in the history of the English language, Maj. Bertram "Bunty" Golightly, British Army (retired) has kept fans of Royal Enfield motorcycles laughing since August of 2000. Except — sometimes — he's not there.

Now he's back, tormenting the servants around his Blotto Hall manor, casting an appreciative eye on the latest serving girl and commenting on the merits of the world's motorcycles (all quite similar to the merits of the world's women, in his view).

Along the way he offers technical advice on the restoration and maintenance of Royal Enfield motorcycles while incidentally insulting people of most nationalities and all motorcycles not made in Britain. Oh, and some of those, too.

There are limits to the major's reach, however. For one thing, he's almost certainly fictional — although he denies it.

As best I can tell, Bunty's comments appear only on Yahoo messages groups devoted to Royal Enfields. His missives seemed to disappear entirely in 2005, but then resumed in spurts. One long absence was explained by a claim to have been incarcerated.

Suddenly he's back, and in fine form, and at his original venue, the Yahoo Royal Enfield message board.

Mere excerpts do no justice to the major's rants, which are typically signed with some variation of "Cheers, Your servant, Maj Bunty Golightly MBH, Defender of the Kickstart, Companion of the Float Chamber."

Nevertheless, here are a few snips from recent posts:

"Motorcycles, it has been my observation, reflect the females of the country of manufacture.American motorcycles tend to be of gargantuan proportions, dress in a very gauche manner, have no sense of propriety and are inordinately loud at both ends. However they are generous of nature and an Englishman does not like to be rude and never refuses a ride when offered — lord no."

"Of motor cars, I know little and care even less, they are the conveyance of the unfortunate less educated social orders and 'tis not polite to mention them — by Jove."

"And treat your motorcycle like a horse, hound, servant or wife, it's bad form to let 'em idle too much — just so."

"With ignition and sparks in mind, how about a sparkling wine? Better still some bubbly — eh? Ballsack, a bottle of Meteor et Constellation '59 if you please."

Who writes this stuff? Bunty has been careful never to step out of character and my attempts to draw him out of his disguise have failed. Frankly, I almost hope never to succeed.

Selling a Royal Enfield motorcycle? Don't even try this guy

He'll consider anything except a Royal Enfield.

Do you want to sell your Royal Enfield motorcycle? Well, don't bother contacting the buyer advertising on CraigsList in Lakewood, Wash.

He is in the market for a "running good bike."

He'll even pay $1,500 for it, "as long as it's NOT a Royal Enfield."

To be fair, he's looking for a motorcycle of 650cc to 800cc and there aren't many "running good" Royal Enfield Interceptors out there in his price range anyway.

The would-be-buyer has a few additional warnings for sellers:

• "I'm an old CraigsLister and I can smell a troll or a spammer from 10 miles away — don't even start."
• "Junk, crap and stuff won't even be looked at."
• "This bike must have a windshield, and saddlebags of some kind."

If you think your non-Royal Enfield motorcycle measures up, and you're willing to take $1,500 for it, by all means, get in touch.

He notes that he'll have the cash for you "around the 1st."

This blog lists Royal Enfields for sale in the United States. I look at a lot of CraigsList ads.

Here's my take: The spammers and tire kickers are going to respond, no matter how you beat them up in your ad. That's the Internet for you. So why bother treating the regular guys who read your ad to a tirade?

There's nothing wrong with being frank. I like this buyer's final sentences a lot, and I wish he had left it to this:

"I'm a serious buyer, I suggest you be a serious seller so we don't waste each other's time. Will reply to emails."