Motorcycle photos so great I wanted to be in them

A great vintage photo of the past, but who is that rider?
It's me!

Doctoring Internet photos of vintage motorcycles started as a way for me to fill trapped time when I worked on the photo desk of a daily newspaper years ago.

I felt I was liberating the artistic potential of photos shot simply to sell old motorcycles on eBay.

It was fun, and the amusement factor soon prompted me to begin playing with the images as a joke. I began adding my own head — and sometimes my wife's head — to historical photos I found on the Internet.

Here was a way to go back in time, like the way I felt when I rode my Royal Enfield Bullet to work.

Who didn't want to be this happy man?
I certainly did.

I could almost imagine myself living in the times depicted, and riding those motorcycles.

But it really was just a gag. I never published the photos. I shudder to think that one of these doctored photos might someday be mistaken for the real thing. I don't know how to prevent search engines from finding them now that they are on this blog. (They are reproduced here in very low resolution.)

As an absurd technical challenge to myself I insisted on using the same photo of my own head (sometimes flopped to reverse the direction faced) in every shot.

The results were far from perfect. Matching the resolution and resulting sharpness of each photo was difficult.

I used the images as holiday cards for my wife and kids (who quickly tired of them, I'm sure).

The whole gang looks up to NOT Marlon Brando.
That's me with the big smile.

A photo with my head replacing Marlon Brando's in "The Wild One" I hung on the wall of my office cubicle. No one ever noticed or, if they did, they were kind enough not to react negatively.

Looking back the activity seems foolish, of course. But, when I see myself with all that (now long gone) dark hair, well — it was worth it!

Something I would never do.
But it looks as though I did!

Great vintage motorcycle photos from eBay

1913 Douglas photographed in a garden.

Even before I started this blog about Royal Enfields for sale in the United States, I enjoyed prowling the classified ads for neat old used motorcycles. It was even more fun looking at eBay, with photos of the vehicles for sale.

Back then I used PhotoShop software in my work as a photo editor for a daily newspaper. Not in the interest of producing Fake News — we carefully limited ourselves. The rule was "do nothing that would not have been done in a paper-and-chemicals darkroom."

Cropping, adjusting lighting, a little sharpening, that was about it.

A Harley-Davidson tribute to the Booze Fighters.
I used PhotoShop to add the words to the tank.

It was obvious that PhotoShop had abilities far more powerful. In idle moments I used the program to doctor some of the photos I found on the Internet, for my personal entertainment, not publication.

Photos from eBay provided the ideal challenge, as they frequently included everything from the family garbage cans to garden hoses and distracting vehicles in the background.

With these erased, I had room to add words that I thought captured the spirit of each motorcycle.

A Levis with an inserted tribute to England. Unlike England,
Levis production did not survive World War II. It ended in 1941.

Even more, I felt that I liberated the unintentional artistry sellers employed in photographing their motorcycles. Their feelings, too, emerged once the photos were cleaned up.

Believe it or not, each of these photos started as just a way to show a motorcycle for sale. Deliberate skill or sometimes accidents of lighting added the artistic potential.

I rarely do this sort of thing anymore; it was a way to use trapped time during a quiet shift on the photo desk. The examples here are therefore from an earlier time: back when photos on eBay were typically low in resolution, a technical challenge in itself.

I hope you enjoy them.

A 1937 Jawa 250 coming.

...and the same bike going.

Royal Enfield motorcycles could brave the walls of death

Tornado Smith and RE 125
as seen on My Royal Enfields.

My statement that Royal Enfield motorcycles rarely show up in photographs of motorcycle stunts performed outside India was immediately tested by the self-correcting mechanism of the Internet.

Jorge Pullin points out his excellent item on British daredevil Tornado Smith, who chose a Royal Enfield Model RE for his "Loop of Death" stunt.

Reader Mark Mumford also cites Smith:

"Check out the British stunt rider Tornado Smith at The Selvedge Yard website as well as items on contemporaries."

The Selvedge Yard site Mark points to is fantastic, with many vintage photos of Tornado Smith, riding lions and photos of lovely lady riders. Check it out.

Tornado Smith gives Maureen Swift, 16, a ride.

My comment had been that the lion shown riding the wall seemed to be enjoying the ride. But check out the calm expressions on the faces of those women riders. Almost blissful. There is some magic in speed and balance that soothes the soul.

Else, why would we do it?

Meanwhile, here is a video I spotted on YouTube entitled "Wall of Death on Royal Enfield," posted just two months ago by "Tazza12," who gives his location as the United Kingdom. I can't tell from the video what kind of Royal Enfield it is. Can you?

UPDATE: Tazza messaged some information. "I filmed this back in September this year. It was at the Ace Cafe Brighton Burn Up event. I have no idea what model the bike is. Hope this helps. Thanks for watching."

Would your cat enjoy a ride on your Royal Enfield?

The roar of motors.

In India, Royal Enfield motorcycles regularly go crashing through walls of fluorescent tubes and diving through flaming hoops. I've never spotted a Royal Enfield in one of the "Wall of Death" stunts so popular in America.

But I couldn't resist bringing you the picture and video shown here of lions going for a thrill ride on the circular walls. These were featured recently on Boing Boing, where my daughter Anna spotted them.

They appear to show different lions, different cars and different riders. But one thing they have in common: in both video and still photo, the lion seems to be enjoying the ride.

Humans aren't the only species that enjoys a thrill. Click on the image below to see the video.

Video: Lion Goes for a Ride!

Selling a Royal Enfield? Don't include your trash cans in the picture

Buying a used Royal Enfield motorcycle on line means staring at a picture or two looking for visual clues.

Does it have the accessories you want? Is it left shift or right shift? Is this the picture the owner took when he got the bike new, or does it appear to show the motorcycle the way it looks today?

Here's something I always like to check: what's in the background? Is the owner accidentally telling you how he has treated the motorcycle?

It's just a theory, but I think that if the seller has posed the Royal Enfield as though it is out with the trash, he's anxious to get rid of it!

Imagine putting your beloved Royal Enfield in a photo with garbage cans. But many sellers do it.

In fact, if you look through the photos below you will see that at least one owner posed his Royal Enfield twice with the garage can. He had to move the garbage can to do it!

What were they thinking?

They'll trade photos for a Royal Enfield motorcycle

A photo studio in Portland, Ore. is offering its professional services in trade for a variety of things it needs, including:

1. Vintage motorcycle (Royal Enfield, BMW) and,

2. Teach me to ride motorcycle.

It's signed Kenneth Benjamin Reed, and includes a link to their Vorpal Images website.

It's well worth taking a look. They do everything from portraits to products, promotional photos and event photography. One picture in particular might appeal to fans of vintage products: a young woman in the uniform of the British Empire, a rifle over her shoulder.

Clever devils. I hope they get their motorcycle and lessons on how to ride it.

Vintage photos of women on motorcycles

Women have been posing with motorcycles since long before the invention of chopper magazines. What is it that compels photographers to put women in pictures with motorcycles?

For the chopper magazines, the answer is obvious, and the tinier the swimsuit, the higher the heels, the better for magazine sales.

But far less racy pictures have their appeal, too.

A recent "Vintage Photo Contest" of "Cool Girls on Motorcycles" sparked a debate on The Sartorialist blog: were the women in the pictures chosen posing with their own motorcycles, or just decorating a boyfriend's bike?

I suspect the models shown here were not riders, or they would have declined to get on the motorcycles in skirts. Skirts impose an obvious aerodynamic handicap at speed.

But there's no reason to disdain a picture of a non-rider who agrees to be photographed on a motorcycle. Consider the intentions of model and photographer. For the male photographer into whose collection the photo will go, the photograph probably represents "My Two Favorite Subjects."

If he shows off the picture, it will be to boast about his pretty girlfriend and his lovely motorcycle. Or vice versa.

He might also be saying, in effect, "look what a lucky guy I am; my girl doesn't mind me having a motorcycle."

Let's hope your Royal Enfield motorcycle isn't the first to FAIL on Failblog.org

John was never without his gas grill.

I haven't seen a Royal Enfield motorcycle there yet, but motorcycles do turn up with some frequency on the FAIL Blog, an online site devoted to making you feel better by showing you the preposterous things other people do.

My daughter Anna keeps me up to date on FAIL Blog's offerings. I've posted a couple of my favorites here.

Diesel motorcycles needn't be slow.

It's a little bit unfair that some of the pictures come from parts of the world where, of necessity, motorcycles are the way everything moves, including furniture.

Can't afford a Gold Wing?

I actually admire the ingenuity of the fellows moving the chair.

Still, my ambition in life is to never, ever, turn up on FAIL Blog.

Just another crotch rocket.

How to make a pretty motorcycle look ugly

Few machines we encounter in daily life inspire as much admiration as do motorcycles. Motorcycles are routinely added to modeling shots to create an aura of glamor, power, excitement, danger and adventure.

In fact, if we admit it, few of us who actually ride motorcycles look as dashing as the machines we ride. This may be the most convincing reason to dress adequately when you ride: we love your Harley, but no one wants to see your armpits, thank you.

Nevertheless, it is possible to make a motorcycle, even a great looking motorcycle, look ugly in a photograph. Here's how you do it, in my opinion: take the picture of the poor motorcycle while its fork is locked in the parking position. Even worse, do this on a motorcycle, like the Royal Enfield, that has a right-facing lock position and a side stand on the left.

The result is a motorcycle that looks like it had its neck broken. Am I right?

Digital motorcycle show; pick your favorite

The Royal Enfield Yahoo message board recently conducted an electronic motorcycle show, with members voting on their favorite entry. It was organized by "Shiner," a resident of the Orkney Islands, who explained that it was just a fun competition to enliven a quiet summer.

The winner has been chosen and, if you don't already know (the answer is at the bottom of this post), see which one you would pick. The competition, for a Royal Enfield mug, had no criteria whatever. Vote for the motorcycle you prefer, or vote for the photograph you like best. It didn't matter, Shiner said.

I found it awfully hard to choose either way. See what you think.

The winner was the burgundy motorcycle, No. 5. The voting didn't actually include No. 12, which missed the entry deadline, but I couldn't resist including this beautiful bike here.

Difficult, wasn't it?

Cute kid and motorcycle a natural photo

This fine photo won my personal Pulitzer Prize for photography recently. It's my niece's son Willam aboard his grandfather's motorcycle in California. Like most boys, William likes motor vehicles.

Posing smiling children on motorcycles is a tradition as old as motorcycles. It usually works out better for everyone than that other tradition of motorcycle photography: asking your girlfriend to pose wearing a smile.

Royal Enfield pin-up gains classic status

The racy pin-up girl in the ad for the Royal Enfield GT 500 motorcycle is now a "classic."

Apparently.

The Royal Enfield Parts & Accessories catalog produced by Classic Motorworks slyly refers to the poster babe I call the Enfield Girl as a sort of historical artifact.

According to the 2009 catalog, the 17-inch by 23-inch full-color image is available as a "Genuine poster of a 'Royal Enfield' advertisement from the early part of the century (21st Century)." In other words, the buxom beauty astride a Royal Enfield cafe racer dates all the way back to, maybe, 2004.

Item Z90511 thus can go up on your garage wall (for $7.95 plus shipping) with no danger of offending anyone. After all, she's time tested art, much like the Venus de Milo, but with arms and even some over stretched clothing. But don't call the Louvre to order, call Classic Motorworks at 1-800-201-7472.

Classic Motorworks catalog description of the Enfield Girl ad as being from the early part of the present century go back at least to 2007. As readers of this blog know, it's perfectly true she's a timeless beauty. The Enfield Girl was drawn from a classic pin-up by one of the master artists of the genre. She was set to canvas (so to speak) long before 2004 and you can read the full story here.