Classic Royal Enfields on Christmas card

Burton Bike Bits wished you Merry Christmas in 2008.

 Merry Christmas from two fantastic Royal Enfields of the 1960s, a Constellation, left, and an Interceptor, right. These attractive motorcycles posed for Christmas greetings in 2008 on the website of Burton Bike Bits. 

Burton Bike Bits specializes in parts and spares for classic motorcycles, including Royal Enfield, BSA, Triumph, Norton and even Velocette, AJS Matchless and Vincent. 

The firm doesn't normally sell cheesecake but, in 2008, it was inspired to offer Christmas desktop wallpaper for your computer. For the occasion two young women were dressed as Santa's elves and stationed on or near a variety of classic motorcycles. 

"Merry Christmas from all at Burton Bike Bits! As a token of thanks to all of our loyal customers we have produced the following shots of the BBB Girls on your favourite bikes!" the Burton website announced. 

The resulting gallery of photos remains on the website and you could still choose your favorite image as your computer desktop image.

The above is the blog item the way I wrote it but, of course, it is not absolutely honest. I tried to cast as a public service alerting readers to the Burton Bike Bits Christmas greetings.

"As Royal Enfield motorcycles were included in the shoot I felt obliged to share this information with readers," I wrote. That sounded hollow and dishonest.

What actually happened is that I saw the gallery of photos on the Burton Bike Bits website and thought this photo might look better with the background removed and replaced by more RED.

Red is a very motivating color, don't you think?

So, if you look at the actual Burton Bike Bits gallery you will see the lady elves and vintage motorbikes and a small Christmas tree, posed in what looks like an office corner. I thought I could do better, that's all.

So, with apologies to Burton Bike Bits and the BBB Girls, here it is my version.

The Devil made me do it: my take on the BBB Christmas card.

Happy Royal Enfield holidays to all

Happy Holidays from me and my Royal Enfield.

 My old Royal Enfield Bullet motorcycle is broken. Nothing would make a better Christmas gift than the parts I need to fix it, but Santa won't be bringing me motorcycle parts. 

Motorcycle parts are unsuitable as Christmas gifts, my wife (Santa) informs me. 

So I ordered my own dang motorcycle parts. Unfortunately, I somehow neglected to complete the online payment, and so the parts were delayed. 

In the interim my neighbor borrowed my stepladder to string Christmas lights along the edge of his roof. They look nice there, but, contrary to promise, he did not return the ladder. OK. He'll need the ladder to take the lights down after Christmas, so he might as well hang onto it. 

My lack of a ladder put paid to my promise (to my wife) to finally paint the fascia board along our roof. It has to be painted prior to installing the gutters she wants. I've put off this job for many months and the absence of the stepladder provides a fresh excuse to continue ducking the job. 

Meanwhile, houseguests arrived. It's the ideal time to visit us in Florida, where it is warm, from their homes in places where it is cold.

They brought Christmas cheer, food and friendship. The guy opened the passenger door of my car with normal guy force and ripped off the door handle. We'd been babying it after I Super Glued it back on. I knew my inadequate repair job would never last, but the car is old and no one sells a replacement door handle in that exact color anymore.

I'll have to do something about that.

In the meantime the lights in the laundry room stopped working. Exactly what, my wife asked, do we have to do to get them fixed? I'd tried replacing the bulbs.

I suggested we hire an electrician, and while he is here have him look at the electrical outlet that stopped working in the bedroom.

Electricity scares me, which is why I've never fixed the fluorescent array in her closet (replacing the bulbs didn't fix them either). I moved a lamp, on an extension cord, into her closet. Seems like a fine workaround to me. Not to her.

We should have the electrician look at them, too.

Meanwhile, my Royal Enfield Bullet sits in the garage, awaiting application of the parts that finally arrived. I'd love to get it fixed but I have a dental appointment this afternoon.

And Christmas is coming

On Christmas Day, a daughter and her husband arrive to visit from someplace cold, accompanied by our treasured grand daughter, who will likely provide grandpa with many wonderful distractions.

Bless her.

Merry Christmas to all. And to all, many happy distractions for the New Year.

May all your Royal Enfield dreams come true

A Royal Enfield Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and yours.

Dredging up a Royal Enfield advertisement from a 1949 cover of Motorcycling magazine is my way of wishing you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

I've doctored the ad a bit to make it more appropriate for RoyalEnfields.com

When it first appeared in its original form, on Dec. 22, 1949, the ad very kindly asked readers if they would like a copy of the 1950 Royal Enfield catalog. What a nice Christmas gift that would have made.

The rest of the message was just as kind spirited:

"The Enfield Cycle Company extends to Motorcyclists and Motor Cycle Dealers everywhere the Best of Good Wishes for Christmas and the coming Season; and continued 'good riding' throughout the years."

The original Royal Enfield ad of 1949.

In small print, the ad identified the motorcycle pictured as "The Royal Enfield '350 Bullet' Speedster model."

The print is so small that I may be incorrect about "Speedster model," terms I've never heard before applied to any Bullet on earth. But that's what it looks like.

Regardless, the upswept pipe and clean design do give it a speedy look. And, although the ad is 68 years old, the photo looks surprisingly like a Royal Enfield of today.

My Royal Enfield Christmas present

My Royal Enfield Bullet and a very tall version of me.

It's nice to have a hobby that tells friends and loved ones what you want/need as gifts.

My Royal Enfield Bullet motorcycle does the trick for me.

This Christmas, my daughter Erin contracted with Sheri at Paper Bird Graphics in Tulsa, Okla. to do a portrait of my Royal Enfield and me.

The finished artwork is very true to life — as regards the motorcycle. Sheri included the pilot light visible in the nacelle — it's the distinctive face of the Bullet.

I'm not as thin as shown. And, while my hair is gray, as seen here, there isn't nearly that much of it left. That's just Sheri's style. I don't mind.

I'll be working her illustration into upcoming blog items, I am sure. For one thing, it's very easy to add a background.

Your cartoon correspondent and his Royal Enfield may be reporting soon from the far corners of the world.

We'll start our journey here in Florida. It was a beautiful day at the beach.

My Bullet and me on the beach in Florida.

Royal Enfield Christmas carols for you to sing

Simon Taylor's Royal Enfields, a 1959 Meteor Minor 500cc twin, left,
and his 1994 Royal Enfield Bullet Military.

Just in time for your holiday pleasure and not a moment too soon, Simon Taylor provides a link to his Royal Enfield versions of Christmas carols we all remember.

Simon suggests the singing might go better with consumption of beer.

After all, that is how he wrote them.

My personal favorite of his is sung to the tune of "Away in the Manger."

I need you dear Bullet,

I ask you to say

Close by me forever

And love me I pray

Bless all Royal Enfields

They're beyond compare,

They'll take you to heaven

So ride with them there.

Simon posted links to his offerings on the Royal Enfield Yahoo Group. He is known as Scaley Back on some Royal Enfield forums. Here's more of his Royal Enfield lyrics and poetry.

Royal Enfield Motorcycles blog wishes you joy

Royal Enfield Model J carries season's greetings.

It's a Royal Enfield Model J and two bundled riders bringing you holiday greetings this year.

The Model J was just the thing for these two fashionably dressed young people. With its shiny tank and fenders this Royal Enfield was a showy motorcycle. Although it had only a single cylinder it featured dual exhaust ports, giving it a bright, fish-tailed exhaust for each side.

Royal Enfield introduced the twin port version of the Model J (eventually dubbed J2) in 1949, probably the time of the Royal Enfield advertisement I used as the basis for my greeting card (the J2 was discontinued in 1955).

With 500cc it was certainly no slouch on the road, but the lack of rear suspension would suggest the lady passenger ought to hold more tightly to the young man, for fear of bouncing off. Royal Enfield clearly considered the J2 best used as a sidecar tug and upgrades would include forks and steering damper to suit that role.

The Glory of Youth

This Royal Enfield ad, originally entitled "The Glory of Youth," would have been eye-catching at the time, with its rich color throughout and the diagonal slash of yellow suggesting motion along the road.

The artist has reversed the "vanishing point" effect. Instead of carrying your eyes away to the horizon, the diagonal lines powerfully force your eyes to the motorcycle headlight and tank.

Ages ago, Chris Bartlett, the creative designer behind the motorcycle apparel of Her Majesty's Thunder, graciously created a logo for my Royal Enfield Motorcycles blog using "The Glory of Youth" as a starting point.

Unfortunately, I never managed to work it into the layout, but I didn't forget it. While casting about for a Christmas greeting this fall I decided to do my best at altering it to suit.

Whether you're riding or not, I hope the season brings you joy.

Royal Enfield Christmas gift suggestions

My Royal Enfield Bullet, all decorated for Christmas.

With Christmas coming up, you may be wondering what to buy for your Royal Enfield motorcycle.

Here are some suggestions, provided in poet Simon Taylor's "The 12 Days of Enfield." (Reprinted with permission.)

On the first day of Christmas my true love parked for me,
A Royal Enfield Bullet underneath the old Pear tree.

On the second day of Christmas I took it for a ride,
I ordered two new tyres as the fitted ones did slide.

By the third day of Christmas I'd got used to the seat,
I ordered MotoVision bulb and brand-new headlamp peak.

On the fourth day of Christmas by chance I did discover,
I should replace the Bakelite that forms the push-rod cover.

On the fifth day of Christmas another thing I spotted,
The battery had leaked sometime, it's holder is quite rotted.

The sixth day of Christmas saw some more bits for the bike,
A Lithium-ion battery, L.E.D. Tail light.

The sun shone on the seventh day the paint did not look right,
Six previous owners, six shades of green, poor Bullet, what a sight.

The eighth day saw fresh paint applied, where once bike looked forlorn,
Parading proud in army green, a brand-new uniform.

The ninth day took it for a ride, performance seem quite fettered,
But bike cheered up with correct slide and jets in carburettor.

It must have been day number ten, rear brake began to shudder,
Another order, new brake pads, to try and stop the judder.

On day eleven I worked all day just to complete the bike,
Chronometric M.P.H., ammeter, looked just right.

Day twelve we rode down into town, with pride and some emotion,
So many came to see my bike, which caused a big commotion.

Christmas is finished, my purse is too, to keep my bike in health,
A Bullet gets all that it wants and uses up your wealth.

The moral is, a bond does form, somewhat like you're it's mother,
No matter how you look at it, you'll depend on each other.

I wrote about Simon Taylor's Royal Enfield themed poem "Service Brown" on Veteran's Day. You can read more Royal Enfield inspired poetry by the poet who signs himself "Scaleyback" at this link.

Decorating a Royal Enfield Bullet for Christmas.

Royal Enfield tidings of comfort and joy from Bunty

"Merry Christmas Bulleteers!"

Royal Enfield owners got their Christmas present Monday when "A Royal Enfield Carol" arrived from Maj. Bertram "Bunty" Golightly.

To be sung to the tune of "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen," Bunty's lyrics celebrate the events of the past year, including the introduction of the new Continental GT.

(To the Good Major's eye, the new cafe racer just won't do for hauling his sidecar rig from manor to pub and back.)

While Bunty himself is likely the fictional creation of some very clever Royal Enfield fan, the events he references are real. I was delighted to find my own Continental GT ride included for comment:


Old Blasco went to London town,

       An Enfield to test ride,

And at the Ace of Cafes

       A bright red "Conti" spied,

He wobbled down to Brighton,

       So slow we almost cried,



Oh bloggings of Comfort and Joy,

Comfort and Joy,

Oh bloggings of Comfort and Joy.

I won't spoil it by quoting more. Bunty posted the full song on the Royal Enfield (post #76954) and Bullet-Mania (post #31588) Yahoo message groups. Check it out.

It's all in good cheer. Bunty closes with:

Merry Christmas Bulleteers!

I raise me glass to ye.

Tally Ho Ho Ho !

Yours etc

Bunty

Royal Enfield twin roars a Merry Christmas to all

A snowy ride on a chilly night on a 1958 Royal Enfield twin.

"It's An Enfield Christmas 2013" will get you in the holiday spirit.

It's a short video of a snowy evening outing on a vintage Royal Enfield, posted on YouTube by Scottie J, a member of the Royal Enfield USA Community Forum.

"I took this video on Dec. 4 at about 8 p.m. in Denver." he writes.

"We got about four inches of snow today and when I checked the weather after I took this video it said it was -4 degrees F. I guess I'm still a Wisconsin kid at heart. Merry Christmas everyone!"

His Royal Enfield sounds and looks great. It's described on the Forum as an Indian Trailblazer 746 twin. You can see the condensation blasting out of the mufflers as it revs.

Scottie's motto is: "Yeah, I know it's old. Wanna race?!"

"You can't really tell from the video, but my neighbors on the second floor who ride heard me making racket so they came out on the balcony and were cheering me on," Scottie writes.

The can of Pabst Blue Ribbon on the work bench might have provided some inspiration and holiday cheer.

I hope your holiday was a Royal one, too

Two of the nicest gifts I received this Christmas were gifts to charity in my name, from my daughters.

Anna contributed through Oxfam America's gift program to provide training for farmers in the use of organic manure. The gift certificate was adorned with a lovely photograph of exactly what you would expect.

The card went on to explain that organic manure increases crop yields and is safer than chemical fertilizers. I am all for that. Thank you, Anna.

Erin contributed a micro-loan through the Kiva program to a fellow named Froilan Pasok in the village of Sinonoc, in the Philippines. He is 42 years old, married, and has three school-aged children.

To make a living, Froilan provides motorcycle services to local community members. He needs the money to repair one of his vehicles. If his business is a success, the loan will be repaid.

I'd be satisfied with a handshake and maybe a ride, should I ever get to the Philippines. You can use the gadget here to make your own contribution to Froilan or another deserving person around the globe.

Happy Holidays!

Hope your holiday is a Royal Enfield one

Best Royal Enfield wishes to readers everywhere around the globe. And thank you to this eBay seller for use of the Made Like a Gun logo.