Friday, August 30, 2019

Vintage motorcycle, vintage rider, modern phone

Smart phone is mounted on handlebar of motorcycle.
Does a smart phone belong on the handlebars of a vintage motorcycle?
I'll get in trouble if my wife reads this.

But she probably won't. Why would she bother when she has the whole rest of the Internet at her fingertips?

Literally at her fingertips — thanks to the iPhone.

These are The Confessions of an iPhone Widower.

My wife is a lovely, fascinating individual. I am a balding bore, made to seem even more so by my competitor, the iPhone.

It's the source of the information and entertainment she prizes.

In contrast, I today am no better date than I was in 1972, and I was no prize then.

Now, at best, my memory banks contain old information, poorly remembered.

In contrast, the Internet is All Knowing.

I am now married to a person who can know, in seconds, the Internet's answer to everything.

My wife can't help being right — she just checks with the Internet, that's all. I think marriage counselors will advise you that it's not a good idea in a relationship to be right all the time.

I don't know that for sure. You could check with the Internet. And now, incongruously, so can I.

Because I now have an iPhone of my own.

I preferred my simple flip phone, from 2008. It only worked as a phone, mind you, but I figured that was all I needed. If I needed to know anything more I could just ask my wife.

But my flip phone went kayaking with me and it wasn't careful not to get wet. Its replacement is an iPhone. My daughter Erin and her husband Chris set it up for me. Enough apps for applesauce.

It can tell me the weather! (Or, I could look out the window — but why bother?)

Most importantly, my new phone promises to guide me to destinations near and far. I admit, I am looking forward to that.

Here's a link to an article I wrote when I was proud of not having an iPhone to fall back on.


  1. I agree on all flip phone is still dry. Some find that a problem, neither I nor my 39 year old son find it to be a problem.

  2. Enjoyable piece! I do have a smartphone, but I don't put it on the bike, just because I'm glad to get away from it from time to time, and I like maps! Bit of a dinosaur too. But like you, I still love riding, and can still remember the way home!

  3. There's hope for you. I too was a dinosaur but have evolved quickly with a smartphone. Many many years ago when I first heard that tech wizards had integrated a camera into a phone, I thought it was a dumb idea. Now I find myself taking several photos every day. Every time I touch something I, want to keep a record of it. Oh look... repaired this!..snap. cooked this ..snap. Wow, big fish! ..snap. I cannot drive anywhere without first checking the traffic. I have an app to instantly check the weather in all the places my relatives live. My, how fast we can change. It's almost scary!


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