Friday, August 9, 2013

How to convince your wife to let you buy a motorcycle

Should a man have to ask his wife for permission to buy a motorcycle?

Of course not! If you're any kind of Man's Man you're not going to ask your spouse if you can have a motorcycle!

You're not going to ask your spouse if you can have a motorcycle because you already realize that it's vastly more effective to wheedle your way around her in such a fashion that she can't recall ever having said "no."

If you're a real pro, she ought to somehow be left with the impression that a motorcycle was her idea.

Click here to
see full graphic.
The Rubber on the Road blog recently pointed to a cute cartoon from Revzilla entitled "How to Convince Your Significant Other to Let You Buy a Motorcycle." The comic offers extensive suggestions for what might work, depending on what kind of biker, male or female, you are.

If, like most men, you have no time for extensive good advice, let me offer a much shorter list of bad advice of my own (with some inspiration from Revzilla):

1. "Honey, the motorcycle's here!" You announce this as they unload it in the driveway. Her name is on the sales receipt. Must be some sort of mistake, but nothing to do about it now. How about a test ride?

2. "No sex until I get a motorcycle." Good luck with this one.

3. "I'll let you name the motorcycle." This one only works in your dreams.

4. "Think what it will save on gas!" Again, this one only works in your dreams.

5. "I won't re-enlist if I get a motorcycle." This one is guaranteed to work, but it helps to actually be in the military at the time.

6. "If I'm not happy, you won't be happy." This is a threat and guarantees only that you will not be happy, motorcycle or not.


  1. Matt Law8/09/2013

    My eye doctor said I had macular degeneration,and would probably be blind in the next 15-20 years,so my wife "let" me get a Royal Enfield,then another one for parts...then ANOTHER one...them my eye doctor retired,and my NEW eye doctor said it was solar retinopathy...harmless...NOT macular then,I had three Royal Enfields,and there was NO WAY that I was going to sell them...we're divorced now,and my new girlfriend LOVES my three Bullets,my 1959 Indian Chief (that she calls HER bike,whatever),which we're restoring TOGETHER,and she may or may not love the 2002 Ural Bavarian that I have stashed at my buddy's house...when she finds out about it!

  2. Males that have to ask their wives if they can have a motorcycle (similar to the little snot nosed boy asking mommy if they can have a toy when at the know the scene!) are not men. They have been sissified...castrated!! Real men ask for nothing, they do what they please, you want something? You go and get it. Anything your ball and chain tries to throw at you afterwards is just the antics of a domineering controlling over-bearingw Nurse Ratchett (One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest) Grow a pair for gods sake! Get out of the hellish prison and live free!!!

    1. Anonymous4/24/2014

      I'm guessing you're either remarried or have a super unhealthy relationship.

    2. Yea, sounds like you are the one that is not a real man. Real men that get what they want only do so because their woman wants them happy. And there are times real men need to sacrifice their happiness (in certain instances) for the sake of their woman's happiness.

  3. Single and my dog doesn't care


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