Royal Enfield too slow? This one was the slowest of all

The Royal Enfield Trim-Master Exerciser went no where fast.

Jorge Pullin's My Royal Enfields blog specializes in discovering unusual Royal Enfield products. One recent find was a tiny, top secret generator motor to be dropped from airplanes during World War II. You can picture the Maquis using it under the eyes of the Gestapo to radio London.

But here is a product labelled "Royal Enfield" that I'm reasonably sure Jorge doesn't know about:

The Royal Enfield Trim-Master Exerciser!

No, today is not April Fools Day. The Trim-Master really was offered for sale under the Royal Enfield brand by the G. Joannou bicycle company in the United States. It's in their 1983 catalog. You can read the complete catalog in the files section of the Bicycle Restoration Yahoo group.

Like all such exercise machines, you pedaled but got no where. Nevertheless, Trim-Master standard equipment included a speedometer, mileage indicator and timer.

The catalog says the exercise machine would promote "fitness," but what that really meant was that you planted your fat butt on the "Jumbo Padded Saddle" and worked off the spare tire around your middle.

It was available only in the appalling colors of Chocolate Brown and Vanilla Cream. Kind of odd that the colors were named for high-calorie treats!