Monday, December 7, 2009

Selling a Royal Enfield? Blame your wife

This blog lists Royal Enfield motorcycles for sale in the United States. Since I get to read all the ads, I'm familiar with all the reasons sellers give for wanting to get rid of their Royal Enfields.

Few of them blame the motorcycle (naturally, since they are trying to sell it to you). More typically, they blame their wives. Here's one recent ad:

"I just purchased this 2002 Royal Enfield Bullet 500 and unfortunately for me my wife absolutely hates it and won't let me keep it. I know, I'm whipped but what's a guy to do? A bit of an impulse buy on my part; oh well. My loss = your gain."

Sellers give many other excuses. Need the money. Lost my storage. Bought another motorcycle. Too many toys. But wives get more than their fair share of the blame.

My guess is that the sellers (all men) are not checking the ad copy with their wives. Can you imagine?

"Excuse me, dear, is it OK with you if I tell everyone in the world with an Internet connection that you are a castrating bitch?"

No, of course not. The guys who write these ads are counting on the very low probability that their wives will ever see them.

It's like buying a billboard in another county to complain about your mother-in-law. Satisfying, and probably safe, since she rarely gets out.

But, as the fellow above sheepishly admits, it's the coward's way. If you can't tell your wife that you intend to keep your motorcycle and don't mind sleeping in the garage with it, then yes, you are "whipped."

If your wife really wants the motorcycle G-O-N-E, my advice would be to tell her she has to write the ad. Then we might read something like this:

"My husband bought this motorcycle and doesn't even know how to start it. Somebody please come and get it out of here before it leaks all over the driveway pavers."

1 comment:

  1. Maybe the sign should read "For Sale One Wife". I must admit my wife encouraged me to keep my Enfield when I bought my second bike, but I sold it to balance the books.


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