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Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Royal Enfield's major fan, Bunty Golightly, is back

Stop me if you've heard this one: Bunty's back.

Bertram Golightly, the charmingly bigotted British Army major (retired), expert on and lover of all things Royal Enfield, recently posted a comment on his old stalking ground, the Royal Enfield Yahoo message board.

The mad — and probably fictional —  major has been only an infrequent visitor since 2005. His lunatic posts first reduced the message board's stalwarts to angry blithering in 2000.

His most recent comment is a friendly response to a question about the resale value of Royal Enfield motorcycles:

Greetings chums,
I must say I am totally baffled by this question, don't yer know .
Only a complete nincompoop would be so infernally dim.
Bullets my dear chap are, like a good horse or a comely filly, for life.
One simply does not dispose of them on the open market — ye Gods!
It is one's duty to nurture the beast, provide love and care, spit and polish, a firm hand on the throttle and a smooth swing on the kickstarter. Heavens above! 'Tis a living being, not a beastly plastic consumer product.
D'yer see, a hound must be fed and exercised to be able to hunt efficiently, just so with a Bullet .Count ye not the cost of ownership, but rather do thy duty by the motorbicycle .
Then, when it has come to the end of its working life, one must continue with one's duty, face it square on and dispatch it with a single shot from one's Webley .455.
To do any less would be cruelty indeed .
The talk of disposing of Bullets makes me maudlin — time for a beverage — quite so!
Aha, a bottle of "Unite Cinqcents," mmn haven't tried that one, seems full of promise, but may need time to mature .

Tally ho !
Your servant,
Maj Bunty Golightly,
MBH, REOC, Defender of the Kickstart

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