What biker husbands think wives think

 The following is presented with apologies to women everywhere. They aren't really like the "wife" depicted here. 

But, inside the brain of every husband is malware telling him what his wife might be thinking right about now. 

It goes like this: 

Nothing offends a busy wife more than an idle husband. 

Worse, when you ask him to do anything, well... 

Does he even remember to hit the "Start" button on the dishwasher he just finished loading? No, he does not. 

Somehow that's suddenly her job, or something.

He's forever laying about, tending to his absurd hobbies, like mowing the lawn, scraping leaves out of the gutters, or shoveling snow off the driveway.

The most annoying thing is all the time he spends tending to that old motorcycle in the garage.

Of course it's always broken! She told him he should buy a dependable motorcycle, something American made, like a Honda.

He acted like that was just funny for some reason.

Men!

What is that motorcycle for, anyway? Didn't she make clear to him long ago that there was no way she would be caught dead riding on that death trap?

As for his suggestion, once, that she pose next to it in her new swimsuit! Couldn't he see that the motorcycle was entirely the wrong color match for the swimsuit?

And, as for his reply that she could quickly fix that, well! In your dreams, buster, and only in your dreams.

It's no skin off her nose if he wants to get greasy and sweaty "maintaining" that thing.

Just as long as he leaves plenty of room in the garage for her to swing open her car door.

If he doesn't, well, la-de-da, she has to get out of the car, doesn't she? "Accidents" will happen. No one would notice one more dent on that old thing, anyway.

And it's not that she's jealous of that piece of rusty tin. Are you kidding?

Just because he seems to have money for new motorcycle parts, when she has made it perfectly clear that she needs a new coffee table.

Imagine! He says he actually likes that old coffee table! He says it looks "retro."

Like his motorcycle.

Disclaimer: The above fictional account is meant to illustrate suspicions that a husband may have regarding what his wife might be thinking. It is not meant to suggest what wives are in fact thinking. No husband would be acquainted with that. Any resemblance to actual wives or relationships is strictly coincidental.