Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Kick starting an Enfield keeps you humble

Graph illustrates the odds of your Royal Enfield Bullet starting on the first kick.
What are the odds your Royal Enfield motorcycle will start on the very first kick? If you follow the starting procedure perfectly, and the bike is warmed up but not overheated, the odds are actually very good. The only problem arises if someone is watching.

Royal Enfield motorcycles delight in making you look like a fool in front of friends, loved ones, and, especially, attractive members of the opposite sex. How does an inanimate object know that, instead of merely trying to go someplace, you are trying to show off your ability to kick start a mighty beast into life?

I don't know. But my Royal Enfield Bullet knows. To foil me it has moved its own kill switch into the "off" position, and developed instantaneous fuel starvation or flooding.

The fortunate thing is that when the friend, loved one or attractive person gets bored and wanders off, the Royal Enfield will cheerfully return to full operational duty. It's not disloyal; it just wants to keep you humble.

The graph above was produced on GraphJam, a fun web site that features the humor of people perplexed about such topics as why a bed is always most comfortable when the alarm clock goes off. It is well worth a look and you might even want to make a chart of your own. Thanks to my daughter Erin for pointing it out to me.

10 comments:

  1. Haha, this is rooted in such fact it's staggering. It could be that my main problem is the nut that connects the seat to the handlebars.

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  2. This is just painfully true. Even my '09 AVL does that.

    And yeah, loose screws between seat and handlebars seem to be a fairly common issue with the Enfield.

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  3. Haha, I dread the moment I'll take mine to the road (to busy working on other projects still to finish it yet) and show the world what a nut connects the seat to the handlebars!

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  4. That graph's there because you haven't removed the observation detection module.

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  5. Anonymous9/02/2009

    guys, pls bypass the switch for an easy start. even a drop of rain water/water seapage in to the switch can put you in trouble too. I have been riding a 1979 std 350 for the last 23 yrs without any problem.

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  6. I think Sarath has it exactly right!

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  7. Anonymous9/02/2009

    A British motorcycle made in India. What could be worse? I love my RI!

    Traveled India back in the 1970's. Bought five Bullets in 1998. Found a hand-forged hammer and one flip-flop in one of the crates. I imagined that the guy who crated it came to work everyday on his elephant. Always wanted an Asian elephant for a pet and a friend. I love my RI!

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  8. Anonymous9/04/2009

    I love this post! Way to go Graph Jamming, dad!

    - Erin

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  9. Anonymous9/06/2009

    hahahaha ..true ;-)

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  10. Anonymous8/01/2012

    MAN I LOVE THIS POST...I THINK MY BULL IS A TRUE BROTHER OF YOURS!!!

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